Years ago, when I was a young adult, fit and beautiful and newly married, newly graduated from college and embarking on a professional career, I remember a discussion among my co-workers about housework. 

I casually said that I never vacuum the carpets because it hurts my back too much.  This statement was met with outrage from my fellow twenty-somethings.  To me, it was just a statement of fact, but in their eyes, there was no way that this beautiful, fit, lithe body could be experiencing pain from vacuuming and they insinuated that I was just trying to get out of a chore that I didn’t want to do.

Was I shirking my duties? 

Peer pressure made me question the truth of my pain.

I doubted myself as the best judge of whether I should be performing that task and forced myself for years to deny the pain and vacuum the carpets.

Recently, I was in the yard on poop-scoop duty.  This is not a physically taxing job, even with my big dogs and it’s a job I do almost daily.

But suddenly my hand started screaming in pain. 

What the heck, I argued. 

There is nothing about this job that should be causing you (my hand) discomfort!  But the pain was there, arguing back with me.

I switched the scoop back and forth between hands, but every time the offended hand had to do its job, it protested vehemently.  My hand went on to ache all day and my fingers even seemed not to work properly.  There was some serious pain happening.  With the use of CBD cream and frequent massages, the pain eventually went away, and my hand returned to normal. 

But before that, if someone had said to me, I can’t do the poop scooping because it hurts my hand, I would’ve accused them of trying to get out of an unpleasant chore.

It is simply an unbelievable story that this simple chore would cause any pain.

And that can be the problem with pain.  The story of your pain can be unbelievable.  A fairy tale that you are telling yourself to get out of things you don’t want to do.

Chronic pain creeps into your life.

In this insidious manner, it becomes a part of our lives without announcing itself first.  It doesn’t allow us to prepare for this life of pain and instead we look at it with disbelief like it’s guest who has overstayed their welcome. 

We tell ourselves; this is not our story.  Surely, I will wake up tomorrow and the pain will be gone.

But then there’s the pain.  It’s still there whether anyone (including yourself) believes it or not. 

That is the truth of your pain.

Are you arguing with it?

Are you trying to make it untrue?

Because if you are, just know that you will never win that argument.

As I talk about in my book, The Truth of Your Pain, pain is an evolutionary tool that has served us well.  It has kept us alive.  Pain is the teacher.  When we deny the truth of that pain, we are shutting down our ability to protect and heal ourselves.

The Truth of Your Pain, my free book, will be available soon.  Learn how keeping a pain journal can help you find the truth of your pain and help you learn to communicate that truth but can also be detrimental to your mental health.

Are you letting someone else tell your story of pain?  Maybe your co-workers?  Spouse?  Your doctor? 

It’s time to tell the truth, starting with yourself.

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